Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
