I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
