We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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