she smelled like a LAN party
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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