Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Randomize
