i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
