i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
