i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
