I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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