I think im going to throw up on grandma
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
