do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
