Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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