You can't motorboat a personality
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
