dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He better not be in your backpack
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
