I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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