i would one night stand the shit outta him
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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