Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
