In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
