Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
What a dumb baby whore.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
