I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
