He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
