you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
