Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Randomize
