She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
