dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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