And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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