I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
