ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
