Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
