How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
