Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
