I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
