His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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