I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
