I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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