"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
