I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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