somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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