I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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