i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
