the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
