she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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