I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
