if i can run in heels then i can drive
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
