You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
