In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
