I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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