i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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