hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
