thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
